It’s Valentine’s Day! My girlfriend is in a different country, so that’s a pain, but still…
I’m DJing at a bar called Baby Love tonight (hmmm…considering the fact that they run a gay night called Man Love, I do hope it’s not a theme bar…), which seems fitting.
Anyway – yesterday I had a fair few hits from people looking for Valentine’s jokes, and I’m aware that post had none in, so this is an entirely love-joke and love poem themed post, with a juicy video surprise on the theme of love at the end.
Without further ado, a small and sometime tenuous selection of my Valentine’s Day/Love Jokes:
Last Valentine’s Day, I took my girlfriend camping. The weather wasn’t great, but the sex was in tents.
My girlfriend broke up with me at a ceilidh. Left me reeling.
My girlfriend and I stayed at her parents’ house, but her Dad wouldn’t let us sleep together, which was a shame, because I fancy him.
I said it was a small selection. I tend not to write jokes about love. I hope at least one of the three tickles you.
However, in January 2009, I did give a 15 minute speech at the world-famous Cambridge Union Debating Chamber, on the subject of love, and here is a selection of the best moments. It’s quite funny, I promise, and has my renowned ‘Kiss:Love Ratio Theorem’, and a lovely poem in it:
If you enjoyed that, the full hour-plus debate is here, where you can see my full 15 mins, including a reading of my brother’s awful love letter…
http://www.archive.org/details/cus_2009-01-29_debate_comedy-all-you-need-is-love
That’s all from me for now – happy Valentine’s day to all the lovers out there, happy February 14th to all the non-lovers, happy TalonVines day for those collectors of wine and birdclaws, and happy Vale ‘n’ Tyne day for those who love the UK’s North-Eastern river and the depression it’s contained in.
All my love
xxx
I have a valentine’s day story:
I came home carrying a large bunch of flowers for my wife, walked through the door and said ‘Happy Valentine’s day darling’. ‘Wait there’ she said and ran upstairs leaving me with the flowers.
2 minutes later, she called to me: ‘Oh darling – Oh darling’. so I went upstairs looking for her and found her stark naked on the bed – legs akimbo! I said ‘What’s this for’? ‘The flowers’ she said. ‘Haven’t you got a vase’? I said.
P.S. Alas, not my own joke. No idea whose it is either, sorry.